May 2009 Archives

All teams register for 2010. But there are conditions

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Here is a statement released by FOTA this afternoon:

All FOTA Teams have today submitted conditional entries for the 2010 FIA Formula One World Championship.

FOTA confirms all its Members' long-term commitment to be involved in the FIA Formula One World Championship and has unanimously agreed further and significant actions to substantially reduce the costs of competing in the Championship in the next three years, creating a mechanism that will preserve the technological competition and the sporting challenge and, at the same time, facilitate the entry in the F1 Championship for new Teams. These measures are in line with what has been already decided in 2009 within FOTA, achieving important savings on engines and gearboxes.

All FOTA teams have entered the 2010 championship on the basis that:

1) The Concorde Agreement is signed by all parties before 12th June 2009, after which all FOTA teams will commit to competing in Formula One until 2012. The renewal of the Concorde Agreement will provide security for the future of the sport by binding all parties in a formal relationship that will ensure stability via sound governance.

2) The basis of the 2010 regulations will be the current 2009 regulations, amended in accordance with proposals that FOTA has submitted to the FIA.

All FOTA teams' entries for the 2010 FIA Formula One World Championship have been submitted today on the understanding that (a) all FOTA teams will be permitted to compete during the 2010 Formula One Season on an identical regulatory basis and (b) that they may only be accepted as a whole.

All FOTA teams now look forward with optimism to collaborating proactively and productively with the FIA, with a view to establishing a solid foundation on which the future of a healthy and successful Formula One can be built, providing lasting stability and sound governance.


My opinion: Ferrari is still in F1. Yey! But actually the best news of the day is that Toyota intend to continue. There was talk of them using this as one big exit strategy, inflamed by the news Fuji is no longer going to host the Japanese GP. So, progress is being made, parties are hopefully of agreeable compromises... but it's not over yet. It's bought time, it takes the pressure off, things will hopefully be less confrontational now and the stakeholders can work towards the best possible future for F1.

Patrick Head: "Formula One is an absolute mess"

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In his 30-odd years of F1 competition, Williams co-owner Patrick Head has weathered many storms. But right now, he has a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp (what's new there?). He does not suffer fools, and he makes no attempt to hide his frustration. "The first thing we need to do is set out one set of rules for everybody," he says over the looming threat of a two-tier championship, reaching for a comforting slice of sticky chocolate brownie in the Williams motorhome. "It's a crazy situation and no one can do any serious planning in these conditions."


Today is the deadline for entries into the 2010 Formula One World Championship. Ordinarily teams like Ferrari, Renault and Williams would register at the end of the season in November. But not this year, for the FIA are encouraging new teams to fill the 12 available grid slots and several manufacturers, Ferrari and Renault included, have said they may quit F1 over disagreements regarding next year's £40 million budget cap rule and the FIA's dictatorial style of governance.


The only team so far to have lodged their entry, much to the anger of the teams association FOTA, is Williams. Williams have stated that, as a pure racing team with a contract to participate until the end of 2012, their entry was "unquestionable".


I spoke exclusively with Patrick between FOTA and FIA meetings in Monaco.


"It's an absolute mess," states Patrick, 63, with typical bluntness. "At the moment we have an unhappy situation where the manufacturers are being told 'no development, homologation on your engine, 18,000RPM maximum. Whereas teams who want to come in under a budget cap are being told 'unlimited development, change the engine as often as you want.'"


Williams, an independent team, have been supportive of a budget cap throughout. But when asked about new teams from junior categories making the step-up to F1, Head is pragmatic: "To take nothing away from teams that are, say, in GP2, you've got to remember they're buying their car, they're not allowed to make a washer or a bolt. They run the cars extremely well, for 3 million euros a year. But to go from that to researching, designing, building and running an F1 car on a much bigger budget - and don't forget the £40 million cap does not include driver salaries, engines, marketing etc - is a big, big step.


This week Williams were suspended from FOTA for committing to 2010, a move that was executed by Ferrari president Luca di Montezemolo. "I can understand why Ferrari is upset, as they can very easily raise a couple of hundred million euros. So suddenly being told they can only spend 60 million on F1 is not what they want," explains Patrick.


"I'm not saying it's easy to come up with rules that will benefit the long term future of F1, it isn't. But doing it in this confrontational way is never going to be successful."


WHAT WILL F1 LOOK LIKE NEXT YEAR?

With fewer regulatory limitations being offered to budget-capped teams, will we see six-wheeled turbo-charged cars again like we did in the 1970s? "Sometimes it seems Max wants to turn the clock back to then," agrees Patrick Head, "but I think the racing was worse then than it is now. We've done active ride, we've done ground effect with sliding skirts and all that sort of thing. One could go back to doing that - it would make for much more efficient cars, but at the same time they're desperately trying to slow the cars down. So you say, 'well ok we can turn the engines down to 400 horsepower', but don't expect to see them slide around anymore or lay lines of black rubber on the track."

 

And what of the exciting new 'green' technologies that the FIA has been championing? Patrick isn't convinced the teams can afford it. "It's important to understand that something like thermal energy recovery, which is being talked about, is not cheap. Anything that has more energy storage or more power costs a lot to develop. You can't do those sorts of things within a  £40 million budget cap."

Red Bull - there's cocaine in it! Or raisins

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Red Bull's new cola has been banned in six German states because tests have found it to contain cocaine! Red Bull say it's harmless.

Reminds me of that episode of Father Ted when Mrs Doyle offers Ted some freshly baked cake..

Mrs Doyle: Will you have some cake Father?

Father Ted: No thanks, Mrs Doyle.

Mrs Doyle: Are you sure, Father? There's cocaine in it.

Father Ted: WHAT?

Mrs Doyle: Oh, no, not cocaine. God, what am I on about. No, what d'you call them. Raisins.


Knowing me, knowing you

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Jenson and Rubens have been the tightest of team mates since 2006. Look, Jenson can't stop going in to kiss the man who conveniently shreds his tyres in his wake. But who knows who better? Time for my tricky team mate challenge...

JB on RB

Jenson, you offer Rubens a drink. What does he ask for? "A strawberry sake caipirinha" Correct! One point.

What was Rubens' biggest fashion disaster? "How can I choose between them all?" Wrong! Rubens says that by being Michael Schumacher's team mate all his sartorial mistakes were overlooked. Maybe that's why he stayed at Ferrari for six years.

Which movie actress is his ideal woman? "Angelina Jolie" Correct! He has a thing for tattooed mad women with a vile of her ex-husband's blood hanging around her neck. But why not.

If Rubens could be an animal, what would it be? "A hippo or an armadillo" Wrong! It sounds right, but Rubens insists he would be a Cheetah.

What's his golf handicap? "10" Correct!

Jenson's score: 3/5



RB on JB

Rubens, you offer Jenson a drink. What does he ask for? "Probably a beer - or whatever's free" Correct! Jenson loves the taste of Spitfire British ale, as does MetroF1 incidentally. And free stuff.

In which year, and for which team, did Jenson make his F1 debut? "2000, Williams" Correct! That was an easy one...

In which season did Jenson score his highest number of F1 championship points, what was the total and what was his overall finishing position? "2004, 67 points, third" Almost! He had 85 points. But I'll give you half.

What was the first record that Jenson bought? "I don't know" Wrong! Must try harder. The answer is UB40's 'Rat in my Kitchen'. Classic.

If he could be any action hero, who would he be? "Speed Racer" Wrong! Flattery won't win you this quiz Rubens. The answer is Bananaman.


Rubens' score: 2.5/5

A very close finish there, but Jenson just beats Rubens to the top step. Again.

Monaco diary - day 6

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Yes, the sixth and final day of my Monaco adventure. 

After the race I upgraded to the Fairmont hotel, the one that looks onto the hairpin - the most famous turn in F1. It's had a few name changes over the years - the Station Hotel, The Grand Hotel, Loews Hotel - and the hairpin's name has changed with it. Generally I'll always think of it as Loews though.

(The Station, sorry Grand, sorry Loews, sorry Fairmont hotel...)

I met up with some friends for a bit of balcony wine and Pro Plus action and then headed down to the Irish bar I went to on the first night. No sign of Roger Moore this time, but Seb Buemi and Nico Rosberg (with a trio of beautiful ladies) walked past and waved.

Then I went down to the Rascasse via Stars & Bars for drinks. At the Rascasse some of F1's genius hospitality staff had invented a new edition to F1's party calendar: The Buggy Bar.

The Buggy Bar, parked up just outside the paddock and with only F1 personnel invited, consisted of a pick-up buggy loaded with booze from the motorhomes.

I understand that the principals of the teams that had donated the bottles had given this little soiree their blessing, but the gang did enforce clear rules: The first rule of Buggy Bar is that you do not talk about Buggy Bar etc. So that's the last I'll say on the matter!

That marked the end of the evening for most of our cohort. I did walk up to the Karement club afterwards, which is the only nightclub in Monaco to have a terrace, overlooking the Med and all the gin palaces bobbing about on it. Met up with my Red Bull chums there and polished off the remnants of their Dom Perignon before taking the short walk back to the Fairmont as the sun came up.

Today I took a seven hour train ride from Monaco to Paris. The air conditioning broke en route and my carriage was deafened by the sound of screaming babies. I just sat there sweating, unable to sleep or work due to the racket, marinating in all the booze I drowned myself in this week. Vile. And of course when I arrived in Paris I headed straight to the boozer. Ten days before Istanbul - my liver needs to recuperate. It feels like it's been raped.

Could this man be a new F1 investor?

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This is Larry Page, the co-founder of Google Inc. He's worth US$12 billion, making him the sixth richest person in America, and number 26 in the world. In other words, Bernie, Vijay and Mr Mateschitz are paupers in comparison.

And he was in the paddock today as a guest of Vodafone. Was it business or pleasure? Either way, this man could be very well suited to getting involved in F1, and here's why...

1) He's rich
2) He's 36 and is probably into sports and that
3) He's into technology. Big time. Boy, does he love computers!
4) He's an investor in alternative energies. Aha, this is where it gets interesting. If Richard Branson gets his way and F1 runs on clean fuel, that would get him quite excited wouldn't it?
5) He got married on Richard Branson's Caribbean island. So there's already a relationship there.
6) He has invested in Tesla Motors, which developed the Tesla Roadster - a battery-powered car capable of driving 350km on a single charge. Plus Google.org has been promoting hybrid cars. So KERS probably turns him on, doesn't it?
7) With new teams coming in, it is possible some naming rights might be up for grabs. So how about a Tesla-Lola F1 car, sponsored by Google? You heard it here first.


Spotted in Monaco...

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... not many A-listers in the Principality today. Rumours of Matt Damon and Brangelina proved unfounded. But I did run into a few familiar faces.

Josh Hartnett hangs out at the Red Bull Energy Station.

James Blunt meets Jesse Metcalfe off Desperate Housewives, down on the grid.

Geri Halliwell leaves the Energy Station in a figure-hugging dress.

Peaches Geldof arrives on a tender.

Prince Jenson serene in Monaco

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Jenson Button slowed down on the final two laps of the race to savour what he was about to achieve - winning the Monaco Grand Prix. "They were the most enjoyable two laps of my career," said Button, as he looked back on his perfect day.


He had led the race from pole position, managed his tyres better than his rivals, and won by a considerable margin. "I had dreamed of this since I was a kid," he beamed afterwards. "Before the race I said victory here means no more than anywhere else. I think I was trying to take the pressure off myself. We know what the truth is. As I crossed the line, I got on the radio to my engineers and shouted 'Monaco baby!'"

 

"I just let it all soak in as I drove past the boys on the pitwall, with my physio 'Muscles' shaking my pitboard."

 

He was so excited he forgot where to park his car! Rather than line up in front of the royal grandstand to receive his trophy from Prince Albert, he parked up in the pitlane and had to run down the start/finish straight, cheered on by his mechanics. "It's amazing how much energy you've got after coming first," he joked. Waving to the crowd as he ran, it was one of the great images of the weekend.

 

When he did get to the podium, Brawn CEO Nick Fry and his father was there to hug him. A grinning John Button turned to me with an arm out-stretched and said "We can give each other a high-five now!" It was Jenson's fifth win from six races this season.

 

Button's race was peerless. Barrichello made a terrific start from third to pass Kimi, but then the Brazilian's super-soft tyres grained faster than Button's. This was the fourth time Barrichello had finished second in Monaco, a fact he described as "frustrating."

 

Raikkonen took third place ahead of stable mate Felipe Massa - Ferrari's first double-points finish of the season. "I'm not happy with third," explained a typically emotionless Kimi, "but for the team it's not bad."

 

Button, who hails from England's westcountry, has been a Monaco resident throughout his F1 career, and tonight will have the honour of dining with the Prince at the palace, accompanied by his dad John, mum Simone, and his sister Samantha. "You want to win in Monaco and you want to win your home grand prix. In many ways this is both for me."

RACE RESULTS:

  1. Jenson Button - Brawn-Mercedes
  2. Rubens Barrichello - Brawn-Mercedes
  3. Kimi Raikkonen - Ferrari
  4. Felipe Massa - Ferrari
  5. Mark Webber - Red Bull-Renault
  6. Nico Rosberg - Williams-Toyota
  7. Fernando Alonso - Renault
  8. Sebastien Bourdais - Toro Rosso-Ferrari
  9. Giancarlo Fisichella - Force India-Mercedes
  10. Timo Glock - Toyota
  11. Nick Heidfeld - BMW-Sauber
  12. Lewis Hamilton - McLaren-Mercedes
  13. Jarno Trulli - Toyota
  14. Adrian Sutil - Force India-Mercedes
  15. Kazuki Nakajima - Williams-Toyota

 

NOT CLASSIFIED

Heikki Kovalainen - McLaren-Mercedes

Robert Kubica - BMW-Sauber

Sebastian Vettel - Red Bull-Renault

Nelson Piquet - Renault

Sebastien Buemi - Toro Rosso-Ferrari

 

DRIVERS' CHAMPIONSHIP

  1. Button - 51
  2. Barrichello - 35
  3. Vettel - 23
  4. Webber - 19.5
  5. Trulli - 14.5
  6. Glock - 12
  7. Alonso - 11
  8. Raikkonen & Hamilton - 9
  1. Massa - 8
  2. Rosberg - 7.5
  3. Heidfeld - 6
  4. Kovalainen - 4
  5. Buemi - 3
  6. Bourdais - 2

 

CONSTRUCTORS' CHAMPIONSHIP

  1. Brawn GP - 86
  2. Red Bull Racing - 42.5
  3. Toyota - 26.5
  4. Ferrari - 17
  5. McLaren - 13
  6. Renault - 11
  7. Williams - 7.5
  8. BMW-Sauber - 6
  9. Scuderia Toro Rosso - 5

Twittering...

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I'll be Twittering live during the GP today. 'AdamHayNicholls'

Monaco diary - day 5

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Back to the Red Bull Energy Station last night. Now, yesterday I suggested The Times had been led up the garden path with a story that there is a secret VIP room underneath the Energy Station's swimming pool. I accused the suggestion as "tosh". Well, apologies to Kevin Eason because it turns out it's true.

Entering the walkway to the bathrooms you push against a plain white wall which swings open, and through there, past a couple of bouncers, is the Carpe Diem Lounge.

I didn't reckon i had the requisite status to walk in, particularly when a mate who was invited described the other guests in there as "wankers". But I will investigate later today just what makes this secret lounge so special.

The high point of the evening was seeing to children - I guess they were between 10 and 12 - getting absolutely battered on Singha beer as their mother happily ordered them more bottles. By the end of the night (3am) they were swaying like beech trees.

After I left the party I walked back along the section of circuit leading to the Rascasse, which is lined with bars. Monaco had been quiet all weekend until last night. There were thousands of young, rather drunk tattooed and bloated skinheads which made the glitzy Monaco GP look more like The Den after Millwall have lost. Most of them were staring up at oiled up ladies dancing on poles and promoting an energy drink called 'Pussy'. And through this rowdy crowd came the flashing lights of police cars - not to disperse the crowd but simply to part the ways for Prince Albert and his entourage, driving himself in a Toyota Prius and, judging the fact he was driving away from the Grimaldi Palace, onto another party. 

I can't really imagine Prince Charles off partying at 3am with all his mates. It's also interesting that in a Principality full of exotic cars, the ruler drives the (no offense to my good chums at Toyota) shittiest car in town.

Then again, he's very pro-environment and has been very on-message with the FIA. I'm surprised Max wasn't in the car and heading to the party with him.

FOTA meet again

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On Thursday the team principals joined Vijay Mallya on his boat for dinner, and to discuss the state of the world. On Friday they met on Flavio Briatore's boat for two hours, and then rushed across to the Automobile Club de Monaco to meet Max and Bernie and find some kind of agreeable compromise over the issue of budget caps and governance.

It does make me giggle that discussions of budget capping take place on $100 million yachts, but that's by the bye. The question is, has there been progress? Ferrari seem to have toned down their language slightly. Others say we're still a long way off a deal but progress is being made. 

Today FOTA met again, this time in the more down-to-earth surroundings of Renault's motorhome (some of you may know the Renault motorhome is older than Flavio's wife and the least glamorous place you can find to meet in the paddock). They papered up the windows so prying eyes couldn't peek, making it look a bit like the place was being renovated or, more tellingly, the business had gone bust - I'm not sure if anyone else considered this irony.

Max was nearby, using the opportunity to spread his gospel. There was so much press on him that I didn't even bother to chuck my dictafone in. It'll be on the wire in seconds I'm sure.

The team principals weren't speaking on the record, but did say that the bond of FOTA was 'unequivocal'.

Qualifying analysis

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When we look at the fuel weights it's clear what a terrific job Jenson Button did in qualifying. He's got more fuel on board that Kimi and Vettel, and only one lap less than Rubens.

Jenson should pit on lap 20 or 21, while Kimi is scheduled for lap 18. The real loser in quali was Vettel who is super light (lap 12) and was aiming to get pole and then pull out a big gap before pitting. Instead, he got baulked by Nakajima on his flier.

Lewis Hamilton came unstuck when he lost control and thwacked his car into the tyre wall. He'll start a miserable 16th. And horrors for Toyota and BMW. Mystified by their lack of pace, all four cars are at the back of the grid. So much for my declaration on Wednesday that Trulli could win this race.

As we all know, qualifying is of huge importance in Monaco because it's so bleeding difficult to overtake. Kimi's car has KERS which would usually make him a threat, but he can't use it until three seconds after the start. That won't help him here, because it's a very short run down to Ste Devote. However, Jenson's starts haven't been blinding this year and Kimi has said he has nothing to lose because he's not in the running for the championship.

The weather is glorious today and I think it's most unlikely we'll see rain (at least, that's what my suede loafers hope). The best chance of a shake-up will come from a safety car and they are always quite popular around here.

So, I'm going to stick my neck out and make some podium postions:

1. Jenson Button (it's his race to lose)
2. Rubens Barrichello (should leapfrog Raikkonen in the pits)
3. Kimi Raikkonen (provided he can keep it out of the wall this year. Otherwise, Massa will be there to pick up the pieces, as it were).

Monaco diary - day 4

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Yesterday evening was Amber Fashion, an annual charity event where F1 and the fashion world join forces. 

Bernie Ecclestone's younger daughter, Petra, is a fashion designer and F1 drivers Button, Coulthard, Hamilton, Piquet, Rosberg, Liuzzi, Sutil, Vettel and Webber all modelled her clothing brand FORM.

(Work it Adrian baby: Our gang give Sutil a bit of a ribbing)

Rosberg is a bit of a pro at this and takes it all very seriously, as does Sutil, and so I and a gang of team press officers I was hanging out with hurled a lot of friendly abuse at them as the walked up the catwalk. Then their act was followed by a dozen beautiful models wearing Elizabeth Hurley Beach swimwear.

Liz was in the audience with Prince Albert, Bernie, Richard Branson, Princess Beatrice and David Walliams from Little Britain.

Sebastian Vettel is, I'm confident in saying, Germany's biggest Little Britain fan. After the event I searched for Seb to make an intro - Seb even went to see their live show in London two years ago. But alas I think he'd gone back to his hotel.

There was also an auction in aid of the Elton John AIDS Foundation. Sir Elton wasn't present but his partner David Furnish was, and made an impassioned plea to the millionaires and billionaires in the audience to bid generously. There was a VVIP seated area where the royals and celebs were sat, facing a mere VIP for the drivers and yours truly. And then there was the supposed hoi polloi standing among the trees behind. In previous years the auctioneer had always found his bids coming just from the likes of Bernie, Vijay and Philip Green. This year I'm very pleased that others got in on the act - and a man who had been offered no seat spent about 100,000 euros on various lots. As soon as he's won his lots a girl would a arrive with a contract for him to sign. I did rather think at that point he should have been offered a seat.

It's tempting just to chuck in a low bid to make it look like you're a player, but I resisted this time. Bernie bought a luxury holiday to Turks and Caicos for 30 grand and then re-donated it, while someone seated in front of me paid 145,000 Euros for he and nine of his friends to dine with Elton John and David Furnish at their villa in Nice. The closest I got to sampling the goods on offer was when the lot for the world's most expensive perfume came up, served in crystal and gold bottles - his and hers. Models came and wafted the perfume - Clive Christian No.1 - in our direction. I'm not sure if I got his or hers, but I wouldn't spend the 23k some guy sat behind me did. Then again, to hold onto the two girlfriends he had I guess he's got to spoil them.

After a Martini cocktail reception following the fashion show, I got picked up by my friend Gab in his pretty smart Skyline GTR and we went and parked up outside the Hotel de Paris, where crowds gather just to take photos of all the cars. The Skyline was a popular draw. It's also an amazing place to people watch, as dinner guests emerge from old school Rolls Royces and the latest Ferraris, some of whom have had so much plastic surgery it's simply tragic.

I dined on a yacht last night that had been chartered by some friends of Gab, including former F3000 driver Viktor Maslov. It's always a bit of a treat to dine on the deck of a gin palace, bobbing in Monaco harbour. Coming had been a last minute decision for these fun loving Russians as they had only decided the day before to rent to 30 metre vessel and take it to the grand prix. Quite amazingly, the harbour master had space for them, which really does confirm what everyone's saying - Monaco is a victim of the recession.

(Ex-F3000 driver Viktor Maslov, sat on the floor, is now a successful businessman)

Monaco diary - day 3

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After work, Thursday usually holds a few parties and, despite Monaco being quieter in terms of attendees and yachts in the harbour this year, there were a few events on. Thursday is party night in the Principality as, traditionally, Friday is a day off - ascension day. But that's bollocks as the GP2 race was on at 11am and  had to be up for that.

First I went to the Red Bull Energy Station as they were having a media soiree. Most Red Bull parties have house DJs, but as most of the media in F1 are over 40 it was decided that my former editor Justin Hynes would get behind the decks with his collection from the 1970s.

(Justin on the wheels of steel)

(Not even the F1 media can detract from the glamour of Monaco)

I read a piece in today's Times, where Kevin Eason tells of a rumour that there is a special VVIP room underneath the energy station's swimming pool where power brokers can meet away from prying eyes. A nice thought, but total tosh - it's just the kitchen and loos down there. So unless FOTA are having their meetings around a kitchen table... actually, FOTA will sit down with Bernie tomorrow on Briatore's boat, the Force Blue. I should imagine the FIA has bugged it.

(The best party in town - the Indian Empress)

At about 11pm I went over to Vijay Mallya's boat, the Indian Empress, where all the VIPs were - including Richard Branson. 


I've spoken about this boat many times before - it's 95 metres long with a huge double-flybridge. On one level is a jacuzzi and on the top deck the main party area. Inside it's all cream furnishings, gold fixtures and mahogany furniture, and a large amount of priceless art - Picasso, Miro, Chagall... imagine if the bloody thing sank. 

I remember last year I was the first person on the boat and the last to leave. This year I can't actually remember leaving...


Monaco diary - day 2

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As you can imagine, after Tuesday's festivities I was less than productive the next day. I spent a few hours filing copy in the media centre and then headed to the Red Bull Energy Station. In Monaco they float the bugger in the harbour, laying down lots of decking with outdoor bars and, brilliantly, a swimming pool. Though apart from Christian Horner wearing his Superman cape, I don't know anyone's actually swum in it.


It's difficult to look like you're working when you're hanging out at the Energy Station. It's dawned on me that to get ahead, at least in the corporate world, it's best to do as little as possible, have others do it for you, but always look like you're really busy and pissed off. I, however, am usually really busy - it just looks like I'm on holiday. I may be sitting there swigging a beer and talking to a bird, but it's research.

In the evening I met up with some chums for dinner at the Quai des Artists, which is right next to the paddock catch fencing. The steak I had was delicious but, as one of my co-eaters commented, could have been revived by a good vet. Someone was telling me about a Frenchman they know recently, who calls all Brits 'rosbif'. Asked why, he declared (in a thick gallic accent) "I call you rosbif because you are pink and fat."

Then, after two rounds of double sambuccas, we went to the Rascasse to continue where I left off last night. And that's when our dinner host revealed that he dances like a toddler who's wet himself.

Back home by 3.30 this morning, and then up again at 10. Getting better.



Monaco diary - day 1

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If you only ever go to one race, you've got to make it this one. I love coming to Monaco.

I'm staying in Cap d'Ail, which is on the western corner of the principality. My apartment hotel is on the quai des princes, and my balcony overlooks the flotilla of gin palaces sitting in the harbour below.

Last night was meant to be a quiet one, before the party engines really start roaring on Thursday night. Of course, it turned out to be a big one. It started with a few pints of Guinness at McCarthy's Irish bar. I was sat outside, talking to a mate, when I spotted Roger Moore coming out of a pizzaria. Roger Moore is my hero! The greatest of all Bonds, in my opinion... And he was looking super cool in head-to-toe white linen. Legend.

Then I had a mexican meal with my photographer chums before joining some of the Williams marketing and hospitality gang at the famous Rascasse bar - right on the corner of the track. Rascasse nights always get messy, and this was no exception. We left around 3.30 and then walked back to the hotel - the Willys lot are staying there too. So we were drunkenly cooking pasta and drinking more on my balcony until 5am. 

When the cleaning lady came in this morning it was 1pm and I was still in bed. So, I've started as I intend to continue...
(Here's a pic of the Rascasse bar, which I took in 2007)

Monaco - city guide

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If you want spend cash, Monaco is the place for you: the Hermitage, the Metropole and the Hotel de Paris are among the swankiest hotels in the world, but my five-star recommendation is the Monte Carlo Bay, which has the best pool in the Principality and wouldn't be out of place in Las Vegas. 


However, if 5,000 euros per night makes you baulk, try the hotels up in Beausoleil, which is a five minute walk from Casino Square but, technically, France. Try the cheap and cheerful Pierre et Vacances Residence Palais Josephine, which is just up from Jacques Villeneuve's favourite restaurant, the inexpensive Maison du Caviar. 


Also, head to the Port de Fontveille, where some of the smaller yachts are moored. There are several great quayside restaurants and chances are you'll bump into Jenson Button and David Coulthard who both keep apartments nearby. 


For clubbing, there's Karement, which will have a superstar DJ, and Amber Lounge which will have international celebrities. Most people end up at Jimmy'z at the end of the night but heed caution, for a beer will set you back 50 Euros. What you really need to do blag your way onto a yacht party, where the host pays for the drinks.

www.montecarlobay.com

www.booking.com/hotel/fr/palaisjosephine.en.html

www.fra.cityvox.com/restaurants_monaco/la-maison-du-caviar_88236/Profil-Lieu

www.karement.com

www.amber-lounge.com

Monaco - circuit guide

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First held in 1929, the Monaco Grand Prix is arguably the most evocative and certainly the most prestigious race on the calendar.

 

Racing on the streets of the principality, around its harbour, this circuit is extremely tight and twisty, making overtaking almost impossible. It also has the biggest elevations of any grand prix circuit - the cars power up the Beau Rivage up to Casino Square and then wind their way back down through the famous hairpin section.

 

There is very little grip, so soft tyres and the highest possible downforce setting are the order of the day. Most corners are taken in first or second gear, requiring transmission engineers to install low ratios.

 

The most challenging corners are Turn 1, Sainte Devote, where drivers are greeted with an Armco barrier if they turn in just 1kph too fast - it does have an escape road, though, and so this encourages the more ambitious drivers to have a go and attempt a pass. It's easy to miss the braking point as the entrance to the corner is so bumpy; Massenet, at the crest of the Beau Rivage, is blind on entry, and often the scene of pile-ups; The hairpin - the most famous turn in F1 - is also the slowest and requires full lock and gentle throttle applcation; The tunnel - the only one in F1 - really is a shock to the eyes as drivers plunge in and out of darkness - the sound as the engine noise bounces off the walls is incredible; And the chicane at the Swimming Pool really does defy physics as the cars bounce across its kerbs.

 

Overall, this circuit requires 100 percent concentration from all the drivers, as the slightest mistake could ruin their weekend. After qualifying, the drivers eyes appear to be on stalks.

 

Ayrton Senna and Graham Hill were the kings of Monte Carlo, winning six and five races respectively. In recent years, Lewis Hamilton and Fernando Alonso have both accepted the winner's trophy from Prince Ranier.

Monaco Grand Prix - preview

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On a week where there has been courtroom action and debate about whether Formula One would be the same without Ferrari, it's good to come to Monaco and remember just what F1 is all about.

 

Monte Carlo is officially recognized as 'the jewel in the crown' of grand prix racing. The championship's poster venue, racing cars scream through narrow, barrier-lined streets, past the casino, through a tunnel and around an ostentatious harbour that leaves you thinking 'what credit crunch?'

 

As well as the glitz, this is F1's most evocative venue and modern F1 cars follow the same route as the Bugattis and Maseratis did in the inaugural race, back in 1929.

 

The spectacle of the Principality is tempered by the fact that there's never any overtaking in Monaco - it's just too narrow and twisty. But it's the greatest challenge, for drivers cannot let their concentration slip for a second. The walls and low levels of grip ensure the smallest mistake will end their race.

 

Because it's so tough to pass another car, qualifying well is of paramount importance. Traditionally teams would race on a late one-stop strategy, to prevent their cars getting stuck in traffic after an early stop. However, as cars now have to qualify with their race fuel on board, if you want that all important pole position you need to run on the lighter side and take a gamble that you create enough of a gap before you pit. With so many cars so closely matched on pace, those qualifying decisions are critical.

 

Logically Brawn should be quick here, and that's a car that really enjoys a heavy fuel load. Red Bull will be on it too, as they have brought their new double-diffuser here, several weeks ahead of schedule. That will really help the car's grip out of low-speed turns. And Monaco is full of them.

 

Ferrari were a huge improvement in Barcelona and should be up there too. And Jarno Trulli, in the Toyota, is a former race winner here and is a dead cert for a podium. Maybe even the win.

 

But there are no certainties in Monaco.   

Ferrari f****ed off

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So, Ferrari's attempt to lodge an injunction against the FIA did not go down well in the French courts. It was thrown out.

Ferrari are angry. On their website today they posted a strongly worded statement - the standard of english was pretty poor, suggesting perhaps that the writer was pounding on his laptop sat at a bar.

The main thrust of the statement was over the lack of cache of the new teams being considered by the FIA - which include Lola and GP2 teams iSport and Campos. "Can a world championship with teams like them - with due respect - have the same value as today's Formula One, where Ferrari compete. Wouldn't it be more appropriate to call it Formula GP3?"

Ferrari's ego is as big as its four-storey motorhomes. But they do have a point. Will iSport still be around in 50 years? Would you pay 400 euros for a ticket to see USF1 scrapping with Prodrive? Didn't think so.

Kimi has said he'll stick by Ferrari even if they pull out of F1, saying "I think they will find something for me". Ferrari have pledged nothing back of course! A case of, 'thank you for your application Mr Raikkonen. We've been inundated with enquiries and we're sorry to inform you that the position has been taken by Mr Alonso, but we will keep your CV on file for future reference.'


The mad priest is back!

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Yes, F1 fans in the UK were sat agog as they watched prime time entertainment show Britain's Got Talent last weekend. Neil Horan was dancing an Irish jig.

Father Neil Horan, you may recall, was the disturbed chap who ran on to the track at Silverstone during the race wearing a skirt and shouting something about Jesus. Mark Webber had to take evasive action. In the end, the nutter was rugby tackled by a marshal.

Since then he's been defrocked. He has also spent time in a home for the mentally ill. The British Grand Prix stunt was just one of several high profile escapades involving this total wack job. He disrupted the 2004 Olympic marathon, and attempted to gate-crash the 2006 World Cup in Germany carrying a banner that said 'Adolf Hitler was a good leader who was following the word of Christ'. 

Like I said, WACK JOB. And now he's being embraced by the public. Simon Cowell wasn't a fan, but the other two judges voted him through to the next round. Horan has since said he may make another appearance at this year's British GP. If he does, Bernie will have his legs.

ITV need to research their performers more thoroughly. A simple Google search would have confirmed this guys past indiscretions. 




When safety cars make things dangerous...

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Here's something you don't see everyday - the race leader getting taken out by the safety car. This video is from last weekend's WTCC race at Pau, in France. Race leader Franz Engstler wasn't in the wrong - the safety car was brought out but the race director didn't bother to tell the drivers! There were no yellow flags or anything. 

Safety car 'incidents' aren't unknown in Formula One. Back in 2004 at the Monaco Grand Prix Alex Ribeiro crashed the medical car into the barriers at Tabac during practice. I was in the grandstand right in front, and the whole crowd got to out feet and applauded.




Stalemate at the Sofitel

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The battle over the sport's future continues as teams, the FIA and FOM all met at a Heathrow hotel yesterday afternoon. It's understood that no progress was made.

The meeting broke up when it was revealed Ferrari had initiated legal proceedings against the FIA, in a bid to stop it enforcing new regulations in 2010. The argument is apparently over a deal struck between Ferrari, the FIA and FOM in January 2005, that the Concorde Agreement would be prolonged between 2008-2012 in order to stabilise the sport.

It is understood that part of the agreement includes Ferrari's right to veto technical regulations in the future. Ferrari believe they have a case, and so to Renault and Toyota.

The deadline for registering for the 2010 championship is May 29. Mosley has made it clear that if any team hasn't lodged their application by then, they might not get in. "If they don't enter you can probably assume that some of them will stop, or do something else - go to Le Mans with a diesel engine or go to Indianapolis with a Honda engine. It is all possible," said Max.

Publicly, Max says he isn't taking the team's threats seriously. "If they were going to leave, you would think they would just leave. But in any event, it does not become an issue for the best part of a year, or 10 months."

Woah, woah there... this is a full scale crisis now, Max. And let's hope it's all settled by then as a shit-fight at the first race of the season is the last thing you want. Think diffusers were an issue this year? Imagine if the argument was over whether Ferrari could access the circuit. Sheesh.


Lewis will sparkle in Monaco...

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Steinmetz diamonds have marked out numbers 1 and 2 on Lewis and Heikki's lids. Can you get any more Monaco than that? Only if you put Cristal in their water bottles and laced their balaclavas with coke.


Sponsor Jenson!

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Jenson Button, F1 champion elect and all round ironman, is competing in the London Triathlon - the biggest in the world - in and around the ExCel exhibition centre in Docklands on Saturday 1st August. 

He's hoping to get in the top 10 percent of the 11,000 entrants, and will have to swim 1500 metres, ride a bike for 40km and then run 10km. He's done several triathlons before, and I'm sure he can get in that top 110. 

What's more, he's making his engineers Shov and Bono do the half distance event. Chances of them being in a fit state in Valencia = slim.

Jenson's raising money for the Make-A-Wish Foundation, which grants wishes to children and young people battling life-threatening illnesses.

He'd raised £2,365 last time I checked but I'm sure the total will be a lot higher. To sponsor JB visit www.justgiving.com/jensonbutton

Renault join Ferrari in quit threat

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The Renault F1 team has joined Ferrari and Toyota in threatening not to enter the 2010 Formula One World Championship over the introduction of budget cap rules.

 

Just a day after Ferrari announced their intention to withdraw should these rule changes be enforced, and their dissatisfaction with the governance of F1, the French marque has issued a statement saying it is "reconsidering its entry" in next years championship.

 

The issue isn't over reducing costs, which the FOTA have agreed to do, but more in the manner in which the FIA has tried to enforce new rules.

 

"There is frustration that FOTA's constructive proposals, including major cost saving measures to be adopted progressively between 2009 and 2012, have been completely ignored without any form of consultation by the FIA with the teams," said Renault in a statement.

 

The FIA has proposed a two-tier championship where teams that do not volunteer to accept a £40 million cap will have greater technical restrictions. This has incensed the manufacturers: Renault, Ferrari, Toyota, BMW, and Mercedes-Benz. Renault team president Bernard Rey, added: "We remain committed to the sport, however we cannot be involved in a championship operating with different sets of rules, and if such rules are put into effect, we will be forced to pull out at the end of this season."

 

In March, FOTA agreed plans to increase F1's sustainability that were largely ignored by the FIA, who claim a more stringent cap is the only way F1 can weather the economic crisis and attract new teams. Now it is faced with the threat that the manufacturers will make way for independent teams, taking their engines with them.

 

It's all about political power-play, with FOTA refusing to accept "unilateral governance" and striving to have greater influence over how the sport is run. They are at loggerheads with Max Mosley, a man who is rarely known to compromise or back down from a fight.

 

Independent teams Red Bull Racing and Toro Rosso have also signaled their intention to refuse a two-tier championship. Meanwhile, the FIA have invited new teams to apply for places on the grid in 2010. The plan is to increase the number of teams from ten to 13.

 

My opinion: The budget cap is entirely sensible, but the FIA have ruffled so many feathers of late that the teams just don't want to play ball. The FIA could offer them a Michelin-starred dinner served on Gisele Bundchen's naked body, and the team bosses would say they'd rather have their own packed-lunch. That's just the way it goes. Max may have friends within the FIA, but they're scarce in the paddock.

 

As for Renault, this is all rather convenient. If there intention was always to pull out at the end of this year, now they have the perfect scape goat.


Ferrari lead manufacturer boycott

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(Luca di Montezemolo and Max Mosley are going head-to-head)

Ferrari is Formula One. That is the message the Italian team has maintained for years. Such is the historical significance of the Scuderia - the only existing team to have competed in F1's inaugural season in 1950 - and the strength of its brand, the sports commercial rights holder, Bernie Ecclestone, and rival teams recognise the kudos Ferrari brings and have thus afforded it, in the Concorde Agreement, a greater share of the sport's revenues.


Under Jean Todt, Ferrari had a cosy relationship with the FIA. The FIA managed to persuade Ferrari to step away from the GPMA - the group of manufacturers who threatened to launch their own breakaway series.


But now Ferrari - buoyed by manufacturer support within FOTA - and the FIA are on a collision course over the proposed £40 million budget cap.

 

"The same rules for all teams, stability of regulations, the continuity of the FOTA's endeavours to methodically and progressively reduce costs, and governance of Formula 1 are the priorities for the future," said Ferrari in a statement yesterday.

"If these indispensable principles are not respected and if the regulations adopted for 2010 will not change, then Ferrari does not intend to enter its cars in the next Formula 1 world championship."


Entries for the 2010 world championship close on May 29, with Toyota and Red Bull's two F1 teams having already announced in public that they will not enter if the rules remain unchanged.

It is thought likely that the other manufacturer teams will also join a 'boycott' of lodging an entry by the deadline - with only the current independents Brawn GP, Williams and Force India outfits set to apply.

 

Ferrari, like pretty much everyone else, is opposed to the concept of two-tier F1, with budget capped teams enjoying technical freedom while those who choose to run an uncapped operation will face stringent technical regulations. Obviously, the capped team would produce a quicker car - and so  it would be mad not to accept it. That is how the FIA is presenting this in a bid to get everyone signed up.

 

The £40 million cap doesn't include driver salaries or marketing. Therefore, is it not possible to run an F1 team on that budget? I would suggest the fans wouldn't see the difference. Where it gets complicated is that some teams would have to make major redundancies - no one wants to see 2,000 more people in the dole queue, and the redundancy pay-outs would cost millions.

 

I do believe, though, that a budget cap would guarantee the long-term health of the sport. I don't see there is a rational argument to defend teams spending $400 million a year. Particularly when the manufacturers (except, note, Ferrari) are losing billions right now.


What puts the sport in jeopardy is the ongoing power-play between the FIA and the teams. The teams want it on their terms, or else they'll walk. Would Ferrari really quit F1? Luca di Montezemolo is said to be meeting with Max Mosley in the coming days.


Although Ferrari is totally opposed to a two-tier F1 system, and has questioned whether or not it is possible for a £40 million budget cap to be introduced next year, the Italian outfit is also concerned about governance of the sport and that is what this debate is really about - they want the teams to run the show, because they believe they know best. They think Max Mosley is a bully, but they believe they are more powerful than the FIA, particularly if they have the support of the other teams. Right now, Ferrari do have the support of the other manufacturers and Red Bull in facing off the FIA over their two-tier offer.

Two-tiers is unworkable, it's stupid, it'll be a turn off for fans. Then again, what's wrong with a £40 million cap? It could be the best thing that's ever happened to F1. In these challenging times, how could the board of a car company think that was a bad idea?

Well, it's simply down to power. And the teams are fed up with Max. That's what it comes down to. And he won't give up without a fight, so this is going to get very messy indeed.

Raiders of the Amber Lounge handbag

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It has taken 48hrs for my ruinous hangover to lift. After the race we all headed to the Amber Lounge where Jenson, Rubens and the Brawn lot were all celebrating, and where Nelson Piquet was desperately searching for Heikki Kovalainen, who had run away with his trilby hat.

Getting a ticket (or pass, rather, as you have to hang it around your neck) is always a fun challenge. They cost 375 euros, and the game is to hunt down a spare one that a sponsor has bought but has no guest to put it around the neck of. 

It sometimes makes me feel like a spy. I'll get a text from a contact, telling me to pick up an envelope from suchandsuch a hotel after 11pm. The concierge always has his suspicions as to what is enclosed.

I got the valuable microfiche, sorry party pass, but unfortunately my mate Will had been less successful in his quest. He proposed he'd just try and blag it on the door. Ok, I thought, tell them your name should be on the list and if it isn't it should be. 

We arrived at the Hilton Diagonal Mar, where the Amber Lounge was, and walked up to the bouncer. I showed him my pass, which was all good. Will then said "I believe I'm on the list. My name? Adam Hay-Nicholls."

Cheeky bastard, I thought. He was sent packing. But I did promise him I'd look for another pass. Once inside, and a few Martini's later, a friend showed me the contents of her handbag. Inside were not one but three unused passes. It felt like an archeological find. It was like that moment where you go into your grandma's attic and find it's full of Nazi gold that she thought was junk. Ok, that's never happened to me. But imagine...

That meant we could get Will in and a chap who's birthday it was. So I feel I've done my good deed for the week. Hopefully karma will reward me with champagne jacuzzis in Monaco. 

I'm counting on it.

Rubens doesn't like...

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Rubens Barrichello hates team orders because it reminds him of Michael Schumacher. Here's what else he has no time for:


1. TRAFFIC

"Given I'm from Brazil you'd think I'd be used to it. I am, but I still hate it."

 

2. AIRCRAFT TURBULANCE

"Because I'm trained to be ultra-sensitive to all movement and technicalities in the car, when I'm on a plane and it gets bumpy I get quite uncomfortable."

 

3. PR

"I'd much rather just drive the car. Hey, it's part of the job, but going from Ferrari to Honda was an enormous shock. Now I get worked hard."

 

4. OLD CARS

"I have no affection for them. It's nice to see other people's collections, but for me they mean nothing. Unless it's an old F1 car."

 

5. BEING DISTURBED ON THE LOO

"I like to take my time. I'll have a read for ten minutes first usually. If someone knocks on the door I get very upset. My wife is always interrupting me."


(Barrichello suffers twice the negative feelings when someone interrupts him at altitude)

Crash of the day

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(Adrian Sutil and Jarno Trulli collide)

Fighting for eighth place at the start, Nico Rosberg pushed Jarno Trulli off the circuit at Turn 2. When the Toyota rejoined, it was clipped by Adrian Sutil and sent into a spin. Both Toro Rosso drivers had nowhere to go, and Sebastien Bourdais was sent flying over the top of Sebastien Buemi. 

"I didn't even have time to break," said a shaken Bourdais. "I was suddenly flying over the back of my team mate's car and thought I was going to roll over."

Move of the race

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The most exciting move of the race wasn't to overtake but to defend. Mark Webber lost time through the final corner and had Fernando Alonso bearing down on him. The Aussie squeezed Alonso so wide on the start/finish straight the Spaniard actually took to the grass to grab position. But, into Turn 1, Webber went unbelievably deep and managed to hold onto his place. 

"I tried to send him to the outside, and gave him just enough room. Then I tucked down the inside and got him back there," said Mark. "It was risky, but my race was destroyed unless I went for it."  

Massa says title hopes unrealistic

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Ferrari's new aerodynamic package and lighter chassis worked well this weekend, giving Felipe Massa a fourth place grid slot. However, the Brazilian was close to running out of fuel at the end of the race. He had to turn down his engine revs to conserve fuel. 


In the final laps he was forced to let Sebastian Vettel and Fernando Alonso past, and finally finished sixth - Ferrari has yet to finish higher than that this year.


Jenson Button has 41 points. Massa has three. Felipe concedes there is no chance he's be world champion this year: "No, I don't think so. We have to be realistic. After five races they've won four. Even if we improve massively and we are three or four tenths in front of them they will still score points. So forget it."

Bridesmaid Barrichello pushes Button

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(Rubinho says he's "relieved" about his second place, but he's obviously a bit pissed off too)

Rubens Barrichello mops the sweat from his brow as he sits quietly, looking at the microphone before him, trying to understand why he's sat to Jenson Button's right and not in the middle seat of this Spanish Grand Prix post-race press conference.

 

He'd made a great start to seize the lead from third on the grid, and pulled away from team mate button despite the extra 3.5kg fuel he had aboard his Brawn F1 car. "I thought after the first corner that I was on course to win the race. But then on my third set of tyres I just didn't have the pace. I was locking up everywhere. My fourth set of tyres didn't improve things, so it must have been something wrong with the car."

 

Brawn's strategists determined before the race that to pit three times for fuel and tyres was the quickest option. However, the team switched Button's strategy at the last minute. "A lap before my first scheduled stop the team decided to cover all the bases and put me on a two-stopper," explained Jenson. "Initially, I didn't think it was a good idea, but the team knew where the other cars were on the track. When the car was filled with fuel it felt unbelievably heavy, and was moving around a lot at the rear."

 

Button was instructed by his race engineer to drive flat-out for the next 30 laps, something that put an incredible strain on his soft-compound tyres.

 

With Button having taken four wins from five races, and Barrichello now 14 points adrift, an unsettling feeling has overcome the Brazilian. His time at Ferrari, when he had to follow team orders and give position to Michael Schumacher, still haunts him. But, publicly at least, he dismisses this spectre.

 

"This is different from Ferrari. This is a more friendly atmosphere. I had the opportunity to win the race. Yes, there is pressure on me as I've won nothing. But I won't follow team orders."

 

Button was quick to dismiss there was any conspiracy as to why he'd beaten Barrichello, who seemed much faster at the start of the race. "Our strategy said a three stop was quicker. Full stop."

 

Jenson's near perfect score so far this year does nothing to sway his focus, and he's thrilled recent modifications have kept Brawn in front, ahead of those challenging Red Bulls. "I feel like I'm on top of the world right now. It's a good feeling but I'm not getting comfortable."

Results in Spain

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RACE RESULTS

  1. Jenson Button - Brawn-Mercedes
  2. Rubens Barrichello - Brawn-Mercedes
  3. Mark Webber - Red Bull-Renault
  4. Sebastian Vettel - Red Bull-Renault
  5. Fernando Alonso - Renault
  6. Felipe Massa - Ferrari
  7. Nick Heidfeld - BMW-Sauber
  8. Nico Rosberg - Williams-Toyota
  9. Lewis Hamilton - McLaren-Mercedes
  10. Timo Glock - Toyota
  11. Robert Kubica - BMW-Sauber
  12. Nelson Piquet - Renault
  13. Kazuki Nakajima - Williams-Toyota
  14. Giancarlo Fisichella - Force India-Mercedes

DNF      Kimi Raikkonen - Ferrari

DNF      Heikki Kovalainen - McLaren-Mercedes

DNF       Jarno Trulli - Toyota

DNF      Sebastien Buemi - Toro Rosso-Ferrari

DNF      Sebastien Bourdais - Toro Rosso-Ferrari

DNF      Adrian Sutil - Force India-Mercedes

 

DRIVERS CHAMPIONSHIP

  1. Jenson Button - 41
  2. Rubens Barrichello - 27
  3. Sebastian Vettel - 23
  4. Mark Webber - 15.5
  5. Jarno Trulli - 14.5
  6. Timo Glock - 12
  7. Lewis Hamilton, Fernando Alonso - 9
  1. Nick Heidfeld - 6
  2. Nico Rosberg - 4.5
  3. Heikki Kovalainen - 4
  4. Felipe Massa, Kimi Raikkonen, Sebastien Buemi - 3
  1. Sebastien Bourdais - 1

 

CONSTRUCTORS' CHAMPIONSHIP

  1. Brawn GP - 68
  2. Red Bull Racing - 38.5
  3. Toyota - 26.5
  4. McLaren - 13
  5. Renault - 9
  6. BMW-Sauber, Ferrari - 6
  1. Williams - 4.5
  2. Toro Rosso - 4

Follow me on Twitter...

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I'll be Twittering during today's race. Follow me: AdamHayNicholls

The main course

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What a weekend it's turning out to be. A fantastic first two races from GP2, won by Romain Grosjean and Edoardo Mortara. And I beat Anthony Davidson in a go-kart. Kind of.

But that was a mere amuse-bouche for the main course that is the Spanish Grand Prix. Who will win? Here's how I see it playing out...

Jenson Button did bloody well to get pole yesterday, but I don't believe his car is quite as fast as Sebastian Vettel's Red Bull. Seb has about two extra laps of fuel on board. I predict Button will pit lap 14 and Vettel 16. Maybe even 17, as his Renault engine is more fuel efficient than the Brawn's Mercedes. Barrichello lines up behind him on the grid and should pit lap 15. But there's a joker in the pack, and he's a latino midget.

Yep, Felipe Massa is back with a vengeance, proving what Kimi didn't yesterday - that the new Ferrari has a lot more grip and outright pace. He's fourth on the grid and has fuel. Lots of fuel. Enough fuel to keep your house warm for an entire winter. He will last until lap 18. So while Button, Vettel and Brawn refuel and tank around for a couple of laps all slow and heavy, he'll still be on track putting in qualifying times.


Another thing - Felipe has KERS, unlike the cars ahead of him on the grid. KERS is worth ten metres going into the first corner. That extra 80 horsepower will, I predict, get him past Barrichello, and probably Vettel. Button should have the first corner, but he made a poor start in Bahrain and slipped back. 

Massa is looking good today. His one issue is that he's starting on the dirty side of the grid.

My predictions then:

1. Felipe Massa
2. Sebastian Vettel
3. Jenson Button

Qualifying results

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Jenson Button said he was shocked as he crossed the finish line and was told he was P1. He just pipped Sebastian Vettel by 8,000th of a second. Felipe Massa demonstrated the Ferrari's improvements by qualifying fourth, while team mate Kimi Raikkonen didn't even make it to Q2. He lines up 16th after Ferrari misjudged when to send him out for his final flyer. That's a schoolboy error, and heads will roll at Ferrari for it - yet another cock up. Lewis Hamilton and Heikki Kovalainen are down in 14th and 18th. So much for the new improved McLaren. Lewis says the modifications haven't improved the car and Heikki says he has so little grip he has no confidence in it whatsoever. So that's that, Lewis's hopes of holding onto his title are officially over.

1. Button
2. Vettel
3. Barrichello
4. Massa
5. Webber
6. Glock
7. Trulli
8. Alonso
9. Rosberg
10. Kubica
11. Nakajima
12. Piquet
13. Heidfeld
14. Hamilton
15. Buemi
16. Raikkonen
17. Bourdais
18. Kovalainen
19. Sutil
20. Fisichella

I'll analyze these positions once I've seen the fuel loads.
Quick quali update... Raikkonen was out in Q1, Hamilton is stuck down in 14th, and Nelson Piquet put in an admirable performance to claim 12th, just one tenth off his team mate.

Meanwhile, we in the media centre are keeping ourselves occupied in the five minute break before Q3 by watching a chimpanzee master a Segway. Japanese telly kicks arse.

The chimp has been christened Fernando.


Friday night fun

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It's meant to be just a bit of fun, but Bridgestone's annual media kart race is a serious business. This was underlined when my team mate put his foot through the pit wall and smashed his helmet on the ground.

 

Fifteen teams of four to five journalists and photographers went head-to-head at the Kartodrom de Catalunya, about ten minutes drive from the F1 track. We got just 15 minutes of practice and ten minutes to qualify before the one and a half hour endurance race.

 

The top teams of previous years were absent last night. Premiere TV have won it every year for the past four, I think, led by Marc Surer. Yes, ex-F1 drivers can race provided they serve a media role now. The other traditionally quick team was the Irish Mafia, led by ex-F1 driver and now A1GP Ireland seat holder David Kennedy. Sadly David, and Setanta co-commentator Declan Quigley, are doing this race from the studio.

 

I was in a team with Irish Mafia renegade Justin Hynes (my former Red Bulletin editor) so we decided to tip a wink to Kennedy and call ourselves The Adam Carroll Appreciation Society. I think Justin was quite embarrassed about this. It was the idea of our other team mate Will Buxton (editor of GP Week and the man with the temper tantrum). And our fourth guy was Gabriel Mortara, brother of GP2 rising star Edoardo. I know, not strictly media, but everyone else had a ringer...

 

The main man to watch was BBC Radio 5 Live's Anthony Davidson, formerly of Super Aguri, and I'm happy to say that we were right on the pace. We actually did rather well, starting sixth and battling our way up to third. Then something went wrong. Each driver had to sign in before his stint (we each did two stints), and the organizers held Will up for ten seconds in the pits thinking he hadn't signed in. He had. Then he got released into traffic.

 

In the end we finished fourth, 2.8 seconds off the third place team. We were robbed. And that's why Will went mental.


The winners were the Belgian Fries, featuring ex-F1 driver Bas Leinders (an incredible karter) and the not-at-all Belgian Julien Febreau of Europe 1 radio. He was last seen atop the podium shouting "Vive la France!"

 

After that we headed to the Amber Lounge in town. As Will and I arrived Bernie was coming the other way, surrounded by fawning businessmen. He's just launched a new F1 credit card and had told the troops to spend, spend, spend as "we're coming out of the recession, not going into it. I think it's going to get better. It's probably cleared out a lot of people that shouldn't have been there in the first place."

 

Having been let in for the launch (tickets for the Amber Lounge are usually 300 Euros) the media, and other guests, proceeded to drink the bar dry. Great night.

Practice 1 2 3

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First practice: Button topped the sheets ahead of Trulli, Kubica and Heidfeld - so the new BMW-Sauber package is looking good. Hamilton and Kovalainen were back in 14th and 19th.

Second practice: Williams up front, with Rosberg and Nakajima first and second. Alonso was third. Raikkonen just made it into the top ten, while the other Ferrari and McLarens are way back.

Third practice: Forza! Massa and Raikkonen top the table ahead of Button and Barrichello. Hamilton was seventh, Alonso 10th. Vettel back in 16th.

Lewis Hamilton vs Steve McQueen

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It's The Virtuoso versus The Icon. Check out this viral clip from Tag Heuer. 

Both men can drive, both have excellent taste in wristwatches, but how many of them can act? You decide...


A sort of homecoming

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If Formula One sometimes takes the form of a Baudrillardian 'hyper-reality' (think Disneyland) then Jean Baudrillard's theories on the attraction of the familiar are all the more pressing when you arrive in the paddock for the first European race.

The motorhomes are back, not much has changed, and you could actually be forgiven for thinking that the last couple of months - where the hierarchy of F1 has been upended - was just a dream.

It's nice: Now there's always food and drink on tap for the journos, and familiar faces who aren't dispatched to the far flung. I took a wander up and down the paddock as soon as I arrived to see if there had been any changes to the motorhomes. The only difference is that now Ferrari has two massive homes that look like firehouses, whereas last year they had just the one. Funnily enough, my flatmate is working there this weekend. 

After an espresso there I wrote up my race preview for Metro and then interviewed Robert Kubica. My opening question was 'Given the level of expectation pre-season, on a richter scale of 1-10 how pissed off are you right now?'. A master of understatement, he replied with a chuckle: "Well, we're a bit disappointed... because we've missed our targets completely!"

After that it was the official FIA press conference. Fernando Alonso revealed that he lost 5.5kg in Bahrain, and there was more to it that just a broken water bottle pump! "This is obviously not normal at all. It was a problem with a radiator of the car and we had some hot gas going into the cockpit., so I burned my back with the seat and that was losing me even more water from my body". Fernando, as I posted in Bahrain, actually fainted after the race.

He's ecstatic to be back racing in Spain, saying he always gives 120 percent but this race he'll give 130.

He was also asked about Lewis Hamilton, sat next to him, and what the Englishman ought to do to rebuilt his reputation after 'liargate'. He said: "I think to really help the reputation or whatever has been damaged, I think it will be very easy if he keeps winning."

Hamilton looked uncomfortable, and kept rubbing his forearm for reassurance. Firstly, I think it hit home right then that even his competitors understand that his reputation is damaged. Secondly, it can't have been nice for his nemesis - who's own reputation took such a battering at McLaren - to appraise Hamilton's current bind. Thirdly, Lewis can't be all that confident that he will be winning soon.
(Hamilton looks nervous as Fernando Alonso, to his left, advises how the champ can rehabilitate his damaged reputation)

After the press conference I went to McLaren, who were offering tapas and beers to the media, and then went to the GP2 season launch. Lewis, Flavio, Heikki and Nelson were on hand to present trophies for the top Asia Series drivers and teams. 

Kamui Kobayashi, who won the title, was given the winners trophy by Hamilton. The BBC's Lee McKenzie was MCing and introduced Kamui as a cosmopolitan young man from Japan who lives in Paris, drives for a German team and has a Yorkshire terrier called Alfred. He was ushered to the front of the stage to say a few words. Lee prompted: "How do you feel about it," she asked, referring to the title he had just won. But Kamui didn't quite understand the question. "About Alfred? Well I don't know, he's my dog..."  

Barcelona - city guide

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A city with its finger firmly on the pulse, Spain's second city has always embraced style, bold design and all things new. And given that Spain's passion for F1 has reached fever pitch, the grand prix brings out a carnival atmosphere.


Pockets of lively bars and restaurants around the Gothic Quarter and El Born ensure the city stays awake long into the early hours. At the weekends, drummers play in Ciutadella Parc, where the locals gather and bask in the sun. Las Ramblas is full of street entertainers (and pickpockets) every day, as well as some great margherita bars and tapas joints. One of the best food markets is Bocadilla, just off the Ramblas, which has miles of delicious chorizo on offer.


Fancy something ritzier, try the Carpe Diem Lounge, where you can lie down to eat. For later, there's Club 13 where, traditionally, David Coulthard would always throw a Sunday night soiree. And the Amber Lounge, where almost all the F1 celebs will make an appearance.


An absolute gem of a hotel is the Chic & Basic in the picturesque old town - this is where I stay in Barcelona when I'm there for tests. It's a concept hotel, where you can alter the mood of your room by remote control. Colour-changing beads line the walls of the rooms and outside the door, which means when you enter you need to prize your way what looks like a translucent jellyfish. 

www.chicandbasic.com/eng/hotel_born_barcelona

www.cdlcbarcelona.com

www.amber-lounge.com


Barcelona - circuit guide

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With long straights and a variety of corners, the Circuit de Catalunya is seen as an 'all-rounder' circuit ideally suited to testing, and because of this the drivers are said to be able to drive around it blindfold. The disadvantage of this from a racing point of view is, because drivers seldom make mistakes, there is a lack of overtaking.

 

The lap starts with a straight, dipping down to Turns 1 and 2 - an esse bend which often sees cars overshoot at the start, as they get squeezed by the pack. With wider front wings this year, this should be considered a danger zone. From here they race through the Turn 3 right-hander foot to the floor, and that really tests the driver's neck muscles. Standing here can also afford the spectator a view of Turn 6, which runs back behind it.

 

Turn 5 is tricky, because the left-front wheel wants to lock under braking, resulting in mid-corner understeer. Then the corner falls away and the car will oversteer. The track rises sharply from Turn 7 to Campsa, the highest point of the circuit, which has a blind entry at high speed. The corner at the bottom end of the back straight is tight and it's very important to judge the car's braking carefully. The exit is slow and uphill, often resulting in some wheelspin. The final corner has had a chicane installed, ridding us of a previously sweeping double right-hander.

 

Because the circuit's layout is so varied, the right aero balance is critical for a good laptime.

 

Memorable races include the 1991 Spanish Grand Prix when Nigel Mansell and Ayrton Senna raced down the full length of the start/finish straight wheel-to-wheel with sparks flying up behind their rear wings - one of the most iconic images in F1 history. And in 1994 Michael Schumacher managed to take second place despite a severe handicap. For over half the race he was stuck in fifth gear.

 

Crowds here have increased dramatically since Fernando Alonso became a force in Formula One, but his name has only been engraved on the trophy here once. This was predominantly Michael Schumacher's circuit, but Kimi Raikkonen often races well here, having taken two wins.

Revolution 09

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Just as we'd got used to F1's new world order - Brawn, Red Bull and Toyota up front, McLaren, Ferrari and BMW scrapping at the back - we might have to brace ourselves for yet another revolution this weekend.

 

The reset button has been pressed and it really is anyone's guess as to who will rule at the season's first European race. The teams have been back to their UK, Italian and German factories to install new parts designed to boost performance.

 

Teams have poured over data and, critically in the case of seven teams, responded to the FIA's verdict over double-decked diffusers.

 

McLaren ran an interim lip on their diffuser in China and Bahrain which has brought them up through the field and awarded them 12 points from the last two rounds - respectable progress. The same can barely be said for Ferrari, who only managed to bother the points board in Bahrain, and lie a disappointing ninth in the title race. BMW-Sauber have held back on aero updates, and this has severely hampered them. In Bahrain, their cars finished a shocking 18th and 19th.

BMW have arrived in Barcelona with substantial updates to the sidepods and wings, both front and rear. However, they haven't introduced a D-DD yet. Ferrari have now developed a D-DD that is ready to race, along with a lighter chassis and new aero parts - essentially it's a new car. And McLaren will run a full D-DD here, which could be enough to get Lewis Hamilton's season back on track.

 

Red Bull and Toro Rosso won't have a D-DD before Monaco. Nevertheless, the Red Bull RB5 is by far the quickest non-D-DD package and is lightening around high-speed turns. Therefore it's tailor-made for the Circuit de Catalunya. Toyota had the quickest car in Bahrain and would have won if they hadn't botched their strategy. They've brought upgrades here too.

 

Brawn, of course, are under huge pressure to maintain the lead they've built up. Fifty points from four rounds puts them 22.5 points in the lead. The car has had some major revisions, including new sidepods, which may gain as much as 0.3 seconds over a lap.

 

"We know that we have a real fight on our hands from here," said Jenson Button, "but I am confident that we are well prepared."

 

Unconfirmed reports here, though, suggest that changes Brawn have made to the rear of the car have failed the FIA crash test and therefore will not be allowed to race.

 

BMW's Nick Heidfeld admits none of the teams know where they'll sit in the pecking order come qualifying. "I hope we will perform better than our rivals, but that's difficult to predict as all the teams will be bringing upgrade packages of varying degrees."

 

With F1 back in its European heartland, the Barcelona paddock looks just as it did last year, with its familiar team motorhomes replacing the portacabins of the far flung. A return to the comfort zone, then. But the question is, will the order on track revert to its traditional hierarchy?

 

Not if Jenson Button can help it.

Ireland takes A1 world title

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Adam Carroll pulled off a perfect weekend at Brands Hatch, winning both the sprint and feature races from pole. Championship rival an 2008 champion Neel Jani, from Switzerland, finished 17 points adrift after finishing eighth in the sprint and third in the feature race.

"The best possible weekend for us. The guys were incredible - the best team on the face of this earth," boasted Carroll, who started the weekend two points behind Jani.

In race one, Ireland's job was made easier when the Mexican car, running second, had a wheel nut problem in the pits. Jani, meanwhile, was stuck behind the Australian car and unable to move higher than eighth. 

In the second race, there was trouble at the start when the Team USA car and the Chinese car connected, and smashed into ex-F1 driver Narain Karthikeyan, ripping off the Indian's right-rear wheel. Jani's weekend was further hampered by a broken exhaust, but the Switzerland car had enough pace nonetheless to score a podium. Team Ireland were uncatchable. The new world champion, Carroll admitted he "cried a little bit on the slow-down lap."

Asked if he's be "normal crazy" or "extra crazy" during the night's Guinness-fuelled celebrations, Carroll said: "I'm going to be normal crazy, I think that's crazy enough."

A1 serves up super quali

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I'm at Brands hatch this weekend for my first ever A1GP race - the world cup of motorsport, where drivers race for their country. It's a bit different to F1 - there are fewer people in the paddock, there's less junk in the garage, and seemingly you can go anywhere and talk to anyone even if you're a complete newbie like me!

I can report from experience that a friendly handshake and a free lunch takes nine months to acquire in F1. Here it's a different story. But, you say, what about the racing? Well, if qualifying is a guide, I'm impressed.

There were two qualifying sessions today, ahead of the sprint and feature races tomorrow. The cars are fitted with a power boost button, but it can only be used in one session not both, introducing an interesting strategic element as well as a more higgledy-piggledy grid. Better than those blooming reverse grids they insist on in GP2 and the like, which doesn't warrant a meritocracy.

Adam Carroll, racing for Ireland, grabbed both poles with blistering performances. This race will be the title decider, and Adam is two points behind Switzerland's Neel Jani. I know both of these lads and it would be great to see either of them win it (Neel, who used to be a Red Bull F1 reserve driver, won the A1 title last year). Neel has it all to do tomorrow, qualifying eighth for the sprint and fourth for the feature.

It was a thrilling last minute in that session for Neel braked to late into Druids and dumped it into the gravel. Adam had already got through before the yellow flags came out, which meant he could stay on the throttle and nail P1.

When he pulled into parc ferme it was like he'd already got his hands on the trophy. His mechanics (mostly ex-Jordan F1 lads) lifted him out of the cockpit and threw him in the air.

But, of course, the job ain't over till the flag falls on Sunday.

(Neel and Adam on a sightseeing trip of London on Thursday)

15 years ago today...

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... Ayrton Senna was tragically killed at the San Marino Grand Prix, and Formula One was never the same again.


The FIA talks money

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Why does Formula One need cost capping?

Formula One faces a period of great uncertainty during this harsh recessionary period.  Funding a team is increasingly seen as a discretionary spend for the majority of team owners and sponsors.  To ensure a healthy grid all are agreed that costs need to be cut.

Two main philosophies have emerged, either i) reduce activity levels through very restrictive technical rules, plus a degree of standardization if required; or ii) restrict the money that  teams are allowed to spend (cost capping).

The FIA believes that unfettered technical competition is part of Formula One's DNA, and would like to see this flourish, but in an environment of strong, responsible and innovative management, not a spending race.  For these reasons cost capping is preferred.

What is covered by the cost cap?

Everything except:

• Marketing and promotion - we want Formula One teams to look good and to entertain their partners.  We want manufacturers to show off their cars at exhibitions and city centre displays, and we want teams and their sponsors to promote Formula One through inclusion in advertising campaigns.

• Drivers and young driver programmes - Formula One is the pinnacle of motor racing.  Fundamental to this is attracting the world's best drivers.  Moreover we wish to encourage continued investment in young driver programmes. 

• Engine costs - In order to attract manufacturer owned teams to take up the cost capping option, the FIA have decided to exclude engine costs for 2010 (only).  

Furthermore, we are allowing manufacturers to honor existing supply arrangements, provided there is no element of subsidy that could have a cartel-like affect on the engine market.

How did the FIA arrive at the £40m figure?

We arrived at the figure by analysing both revenues and costs in Formula One. 

We know what the FOM (Formula One Management) revenue is likely to be in the future, and we have some understanding of realistic sponsorship revenues during the recession. Taken together, it's possible to project total external revenues for all finishing positions in the Championship.  At £40m we believe that 70 per cent of the grid can generate a profit.  This transforms the business case for owning a Formula One team, for both manufacturers and private investors. The desired net result is to have a very healthy commercial environment for present and new owners. 

We also had a good look at costs, and believe that £40m in combination with greater technical freedom will allow engineers to create Formula One cars even more interesting and exciting than today's cars.

Will the £40m cap for 2010 be changed for future years?

As set out in the Regulations, the cap for future years will be decided by the FIA.  In setting future years' limits, the FIA will have regard to the progress of the project and the feedback from all stakeholders to the sport.

How does the FIA intend to police the cost cap?

Throughout the construction of the Regulations we have worked with expert forensic accountants. 

The Regulations allow for the establishment of a Costs Commission to monitor and assist teams in complying with the Regulations. The Costs Commission will appoint auditors, and other financial experts as required, in order to do this.

A key factor is that all cost capped teams are businesses engaged in exactly the same activities and this enables consistent interpretation of the principles of the regulations.  It is difficult to hide engineering activity or to falsify accounts consistently, given the traceability of transactions in today's world and the access and inspection powers which the Costs Commission will have.  The penalties for defrauding the FIA with regard to any willful transgression of any Regulation or any subversion of an investigation are well established.     

Is a Costs Commission really needed?

The emphasis is on teams to demonstrate compliance, and to pro-actively seek clarification and interpretation of the Regulations. As the Cost Cap Regulations are new the FIA has decided to provide an appropriate resource, staffed with a small number of financial and technical experts, to deal with such issues, and to monitor compliance, such that the Regulations are effective.

Who pays for the Costs Commission, auditors and other experts, and doesn't this just add costs, rather than removing them?

The cost capped teams will each pay an equal contribution to cover these costs.  The costs involved will represent a tiny fraction of the costs saved in Formula One.

What is the penalty if a team exceeds the cost cap?

This depends on the case.  The International Sporting Code covers transgressions in the same manner as for the technical or sporting regulations.  There are no 'fixed penalties'. The Cost Commission will judge the degree of misdemeanor and advise the FIA , who will determine any penalty.

What measures are there to prevent teams spending money this year on a car that will compete under cost cap in 2010?

The teams must demonstrate that they have adhered to the spirit of the regulations and spend no more than 50% of the value of the 2010 cap on the development of the 2010 car (in 2009). Furthermore, there are limits on the value of stock of car parts which can be carried into 2010.

How will you stop manufacturer backed teams from running hidden F1-related projects in their parent companies?

The question is actually asking 'how will we stop manufacturer teams from cheating'.  The principles of determining a fair market value for all activities which are undertaken for the benefit of a team (whether a manufacturer or not) are clearly set out in the Regulations.  

No team would wish to be exposed as cheating, so we expect a healthy amount of self-policing.  However, the rules are clear on this point, such activities must be declared and appropriately valued.  Bear in mind the access that the costs commission and auditors have and their ability to compare reported costs across all cost capped teams.

Will teams be allowed to buy parts from other teams/manufacturers?

Yes, according to the FIA regulations, but one should bear in mind that contractual arrangements with the Commercial Rights Holder will place restrictions on such activities.  Inter-team transactions are covered by the regulations.

How many teams do you expect to take up the budget option?

All those who wish to transform the commercial basis of participation for their owners and investors.  The FIA believes that cost capping will prove attractive, and it hopes that over time all teams will join. So far, interest has been extraordinarily high from both existing teams and potential new entrants.

If a team decides not to become cost capped now, can it do so at a later date?

Yes, a team will be able to opt to become cost capped in advance of each year of its participation in the Championship.

Are you worried that F1 will effectively become a two-tier championship?

There is one set of Technical Regulations and as always there are choices for all teams as to how they decide to attack the Championships.

Happenings in Paris

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When I got back home from Bahrain on Monday I had just 72 hours to unpack, launder my kit, organize a photo shoot, write 50 pages of a book and re-pack for this weekend's A1GP race at Brands Hatch. So, despite being in Paris on the day of the World Motor Sport Council meeting I just didn't have the time to go down there and stand at the door like other reporters... not that you ever get a usable quote anyway.

Of course, you'll know by now the results of that meeting. First up McLaren were given a suspended three-race ban. So long as they don't bring the sport into further disrepute over the next 12 months they should be ok. The word on the street was that they would be handed a 30 point penalty, which would dramatically cut their TV revenue. The actual decision is much more lenient and I think the right decision, as McLaren has suffered enough. Martin Whitmarsh has said McLaren is undergoing a culture change. Hopefully that means they will be more transparent in future, not just the fact their doing cocktail evenings now which seems to have got other journos very excited for some reason.


Whitmarsh has announced that those involved in the decision to mislead the stewards have left the company. That rather infers that Ron Dennis was involved in that ill-fated and frankly naive decision as well as Dave Ryan.

The bigger story for F1 was what was discussed about budget capping. The WMSC wants a 40 million pound cap, which doesn't include marketing expenditure or driver salaries.

Ferrari president Luca di Montezemolo is hoping mad about this and he Max have entered into a pissing contest to see who can write the more condescending letter.

It's bad news for FOTA, as the manufacturers and independents are now on a collision course, and that is exactly what the FIA wants. FOTA is a threat to the FIA's influence. For the Indys, the budget cap is xmas come early.