While many of my colleagues are in Valencia for the first test, I'm at home in Paris. I've written a new book, the details of which I should probably keep slightly schtum on until it's unveiled - i.e given away - in Bahrain. It's been fun and I think the book will be a popular one, but I've been so busy writing, liaising with the designer, subbing, proofing and getting it signed off from the sponsor (yes, I'm a corporate whore) that I haven't managed to update my blog in a week. Apologies, I haven't actually slept in 60 hours. Print deadline, see.
Also, after a mammoth researching and writing sesh, my flat takes on the appearance of Withnail & I's and I cannot face anything. Always happens. I haven't done the washing up in three weeks.
I might not be in Valencia, but due to the amount my colleagues there have been Twittering I don't think I've missed anything. Thanks to the likes of @sarahholtf1, @byronf1, @NobleF1, @eddstrawF1, and @jamesallenonF1 for keeping me in the loop. Perhaps I should have F1 on the end of my name too.
But there's another reason I tend to avoid tests, unless there's a specific interview I'm going to get. It's because a) team personnel are really busy. I mean on a race weekend, it's difficult to talk to drivers and others because there are set schedules and 'it's grand prix weekend dahling' and that. But at tests, the only break they get in a 12 hour day is to stuff their faces. And then they physically cannot talk (I once got a frothing earful when I attempted to ask Alan Permane - aka Witness X, aka Bat - a question at the dining table. Calm down dear).
And b) because testing doesn't really mean much to journalists. Photographers yes, because they can get the first pics of Michael in the Mercedes and Jenson in the McLaren. But really, unless you know the fuel levels and set-up, it's hard to compare the times. It's all just guessing.
Fernando Alonso's first run in the Ferrari resulted in 40,000 Spaniards turning up to cheer him on. He was fastest, but is that a true indication of the car's abilities? Was it just PR? We don't know, that's the problem.
Most teams will be practicing with heavy loads. There's no refueling this year, and that will be a challenge when it comes to managing the tyres. The handling characteristics on light versus heavy loads will be very different too.
To find out who is genuinely fast, you have to talk to the drivers and technical chiefs, in the rare moment their not busy or inserting a vol-au-vont into their gob.
And then you have to hope their telling the truth. Teams have been known to pretend all is rosy, when all is not, in the hope that it comes right and they don't need to manage sponsor expectations (or they're still hunting sponsors - see Sauber). Or they say they're satisfied, when they mean the car is half a second quicker than anything else, but they don't want to be accused of running an illegal diffuser before Bahrain.
Red Bull, Force India and the new teams are not in Valencia. Ferrari look to be fast and reliable. McLaren are up there too. Mercedes have achieved quick times, but Schumacher has said he doesn't expect to be winning from the start and Ross Brawn has suggested the car isn't quite quick enough.
Renault hasn't set the world alight, but their new livery is much talked-about. I had managed to sneak a peek at some photos (and was sworn to secrecy), so I knew what was coming. It's already being called 'the yellow teapot' just as the Renault Turbo was in 1978. Yellow and black is back. It's in your face, and it's retro - with Mercedes and Lotus joining, it's like F1 has time traveled. Perhaps USF1 will enter a DeLorean.
As a nice retro nod, have you noticed that the red numbers on the Mercs, with a black outline and white circle, are just like they had in the 50s? Nice touch.
The McLaren is eye-catching, with that enormous engine cover linking the air-box to the rear-wing. I expect other teams may copy this.
The cars this year are longer, by 15-20cm, to accommodate bigger fuel tanks. And fuel companies have developed lower density fuel, so the cars can make a full race distance on a single tank.
Virgin unveiled their car yesterday. It was meant to be a 'virtual launch' online, but there was a technical hitch. Let's hope they'll be more reliable on track. A lot of commentators have praised the looks. My colleague Will Buxton and I agree it's a bit IRL, but hopefully it doesn't only turn left. It's all been designed on computer, using CFD rather than a wind tunnel. This saves a huge amount of money, and if the car is quick it'll cut F1 costs significantly. Will it be, though? Nick Wirth is very confident in his abilities, but when it comes to F1, well, his Simtek team hardly set the world alight.
We won't know until Bahrain whether he has a pair of trousers to go with his mouth.
On the drivers side, Renault confirmed Vitaly Petrov, which I think is a good move. He seems fast enough for F1, and Russian involvement is healthy for the sport.
A lot of noise has been made about the money he brings somewhere in the region of 10 million Euros. However, my colleagues at Metro Russia have told me that, though Vladimir Putin made calls on Petrov's behalf to engage Russian finance, Vitaly's father re-mortaged his real estate business to meet Renault's demands.
An Eastern European line-up, along with Robert Kubica, won't do Renault's car sales any harm in this developing region. This is smart.
Nick Heidfeld was left out on the musical chairs front and has joined Mercedes as reserve driver. It was the only option left to him, really. I think it is mad that Nick wasn't given a race drive. He may not be an Alonso, but he's still one of the top eight or nine drivers in F1, he outscored Kubica at BMW, he has been the most consistent finisher in the last couple of seasons and he has the record for the most second places without a win: eight.
He's a great development driver, and Mercedes are lucky to have him. But if I were a new team, and I wanted a driver who wasn't too expensive, was quick, experienced, and knew the tech side, he would be my first choice. Jose Maria Lopez... Are you kidding me??
Campos aren't going to any of the tests, so their place on the grid is looking a bit of a joke. The new Stefan Grand Prix set-up have come to an agreement to use Toyota's chassis and some staff, and I understand they're proposing to go to Bahrain without an official entry. I'm not sure how this is going to work out, but if it is - and I can't see that it will - they're going to have to do some pretty serious brown-nosing with the FIA.
The next new team launch will the Lotus, on February 12 in London. I'll be there.
Also, after a mammoth researching and writing sesh, my flat takes on the appearance of Withnail & I's and I cannot face anything. Always happens. I haven't done the washing up in three weeks.
I might not be in Valencia, but due to the amount my colleagues there have been Twittering I don't think I've missed anything. Thanks to the likes of @sarahholtf1, @byronf1, @NobleF1, @eddstrawF1, and @jamesallenonF1 for keeping me in the loop. Perhaps I should have F1 on the end of my name too.
But there's another reason I tend to avoid tests, unless there's a specific interview I'm going to get. It's because a) team personnel are really busy. I mean on a race weekend, it's difficult to talk to drivers and others because there are set schedules and 'it's grand prix weekend dahling' and that. But at tests, the only break they get in a 12 hour day is to stuff their faces. And then they physically cannot talk (I once got a frothing earful when I attempted to ask Alan Permane - aka Witness X, aka Bat - a question at the dining table. Calm down dear).
And b) because testing doesn't really mean much to journalists. Photographers yes, because they can get the first pics of Michael in the Mercedes and Jenson in the McLaren. But really, unless you know the fuel levels and set-up, it's hard to compare the times. It's all just guessing.
Fernando Alonso's first run in the Ferrari resulted in 40,000 Spaniards turning up to cheer him on. He was fastest, but is that a true indication of the car's abilities? Was it just PR? We don't know, that's the problem.
Most teams will be practicing with heavy loads. There's no refueling this year, and that will be a challenge when it comes to managing the tyres. The handling characteristics on light versus heavy loads will be very different too.
To find out who is genuinely fast, you have to talk to the drivers and technical chiefs, in the rare moment their not busy or inserting a vol-au-vont into their gob.
And then you have to hope their telling the truth. Teams have been known to pretend all is rosy, when all is not, in the hope that it comes right and they don't need to manage sponsor expectations (or they're still hunting sponsors - see Sauber). Or they say they're satisfied, when they mean the car is half a second quicker than anything else, but they don't want to be accused of running an illegal diffuser before Bahrain.
Red Bull, Force India and the new teams are not in Valencia. Ferrari look to be fast and reliable. McLaren are up there too. Mercedes have achieved quick times, but Schumacher has said he doesn't expect to be winning from the start and Ross Brawn has suggested the car isn't quite quick enough.
Renault hasn't set the world alight, but their new livery is much talked-about. I had managed to sneak a peek at some photos (and was sworn to secrecy), so I knew what was coming. It's already being called 'the yellow teapot' just as the Renault Turbo was in 1978. Yellow and black is back. It's in your face, and it's retro - with Mercedes and Lotus joining, it's like F1 has time traveled. Perhaps USF1 will enter a DeLorean.
As a nice retro nod, have you noticed that the red numbers on the Mercs, with a black outline and white circle, are just like they had in the 50s? Nice touch.
The McLaren is eye-catching, with that enormous engine cover linking the air-box to the rear-wing. I expect other teams may copy this.
The cars this year are longer, by 15-20cm, to accommodate bigger fuel tanks. And fuel companies have developed lower density fuel, so the cars can make a full race distance on a single tank.
Virgin unveiled their car yesterday. It was meant to be a 'virtual launch' online, but there was a technical hitch. Let's hope they'll be more reliable on track. A lot of commentators have praised the looks. My colleague Will Buxton and I agree it's a bit IRL, but hopefully it doesn't only turn left. It's all been designed on computer, using CFD rather than a wind tunnel. This saves a huge amount of money, and if the car is quick it'll cut F1 costs significantly. Will it be, though? Nick Wirth is very confident in his abilities, but when it comes to F1, well, his Simtek team hardly set the world alight.
We won't know until Bahrain whether he has a pair of trousers to go with his mouth.
On the drivers side, Renault confirmed Vitaly Petrov, which I think is a good move. He seems fast enough for F1, and Russian involvement is healthy for the sport.
A lot of noise has been made about the money he brings somewhere in the region of 10 million Euros. However, my colleagues at Metro Russia have told me that, though Vladimir Putin made calls on Petrov's behalf to engage Russian finance, Vitaly's father re-mortaged his real estate business to meet Renault's demands.
An Eastern European line-up, along with Robert Kubica, won't do Renault's car sales any harm in this developing region. This is smart.
Nick Heidfeld was left out on the musical chairs front and has joined Mercedes as reserve driver. It was the only option left to him, really. I think it is mad that Nick wasn't given a race drive. He may not be an Alonso, but he's still one of the top eight or nine drivers in F1, he outscored Kubica at BMW, he has been the most consistent finisher in the last couple of seasons and he has the record for the most second places without a win: eight.
He's a great development driver, and Mercedes are lucky to have him. But if I were a new team, and I wanted a driver who wasn't too expensive, was quick, experienced, and knew the tech side, he would be my first choice. Jose Maria Lopez... Are you kidding me??
Campos aren't going to any of the tests, so their place on the grid is looking a bit of a joke. The new Stefan Grand Prix set-up have come to an agreement to use Toyota's chassis and some staff, and I understand they're proposing to go to Bahrain without an official entry. I'm not sure how this is going to work out, but if it is - and I can't see that it will - they're going to have to do some pretty serious brown-nosing with the FIA.
The next new team launch will the Lotus, on February 12 in London. I'll be there.
I should be working but this blog about Catching up on the action - Metro F1 - The gossip from F1's pit lane, paddock and parties from our F1 Correspondent Adam Hay-Nicholls. is great
Take a look at this site I will definetly use it when we have an outsourcing project.